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A CHAIN OF
LOVE
by Marina
Category: Point of View, Drama, Silmarillion-based, Angst
Characters: Maedhros
Warnings: None
Rating: G
Summary: A moment in the course of destiny.
Disclaimer: Silmarillion and all things related belong to
J.R.R.Tolkien. I am but a humble worshipper of his work.
Feedback: Yes, please
I thought I would die. No, I knew I would die. It was told
once that kwendi are immortal, but Finwe died, and the Feanor
too. I don't know my destiny and the destiny of my people, but
when Maedhros cried out to me and implored me to kill him, I was
sure I'd have to do it. And then I would surely die.
Maybe I'm wrong to let the memory rule me. Feanor betrayed us,
and my father always said that sons shared father's guilt. I
listened and agreed, but then the nights came, and in my dreams
Maedhros was sgsin walking besides me in the forests of Valinor,
hunting, exploring, and always talking. We used to talk about
everything, to agree and disagree thousands of times in one day.
And I thought this would be our life forever.
And then things changed. Who brought the changes on is not
for me to decide. Morgoth is evil, and much of the
blame is on him; but Feanor's fiery spirit led him too fast and
too far. I don't want to talk about Feanor; he hurt my father
and I can't forget about it. I would not talk about him at all,
were he not Maedhros's father. No son can be blamed for
following his father, and besides that I never could put much
blame on Maedhros.
Even that terrible day when we saw the fire far away and
understood that we were betrayed, I couldn't hate Maedhros. I
only felt a heavy sadness cloak me and dim everything around. It
stayed with me all the long and dreadful way across the ice,
when my companions started to fall around me. I knew my Maedhros;
there was no hate in him, only love. And if his love for his
father took things to this point, what could I do? What could I
change? I couldn't even hate Feanor, so tired and numb I felt
inside. Sometimes I started to thik I was the guilty one,
because my father and so many of my friends did not feel this
call of the Middle-earth and were just following me. And then my
thoughts flowed in another direction, and I saw this fated
journey as a long chain of hearts calling to hearts: Maedhros
and his brothers following Feanor, me following Maedhros, my
father following me... How many answered this call to go on a
quest started by hate and pride? Were we all doomed?
And then we came to Middle-earth, and the Sun had risen. The
past lived under the stars should have gone away, but it didn't.
We were still ruled by our memories, loves and hates, hurts and
mistakes. Morgoth retreated, but his heritage of betrayal and
distrust separated the noldors more than the water of the lake.
I felt that I couldn't live like this. Not that things would
stay like this; Morgoth would soon be back, I knew. We kept to
our side of the lake, but we heard news anyway. News about
Feanor. And Maedhros. That's when I went to Thangorodrim.
The way there was easy. The dark sadness in my heart matched
the darkness outside. Nobody stopped me in this vast emptiness.
I started to thin the place was absolutely empty, and
despaired of ever finding my friend. That's when I took out the
harp that was always with me and started to sing an old song of
Valinor, one that we often sang together. The light beautiful
tune sounded strange and alien in this place suited for groans
and cries of pain. But soon another voice answered mine.
Maedhros joined the song, as he used to do in Valinor. But how
weak and pained his voice was! I hurried towards the sound, annd
here he was at last. I saw him on top of that rock, chained by
his wrist, and I knew I had no way of going up to him. My
journey was in vain. And then he saw me. And cried out to me,
asking me to kill him.
I couldn't leave him in such pain, truly I couldn't. I lifted
my bow, my heart already staring to break. Afraid that even this
one last thing would be beyond my abilities, that my arrow would
miss, I cried out to Manwe, imploring him to take pity on the
noldors just once and to direct the flight of my arrow. And then
I prepared to shoot.
Manwe heard me. The answer came, just not the one I was
expecting. The great eagle swooped down and stopped my hand.
Torondor, the Lord of Eagles, came to help me by Manwe's mercy.
He took me up to where Maedhros was chained. So close to him, I
not only heard the pain in his voice, I saw it in his widely
open eyes, in his face, half covered by his matted hair. This
sight in turn filled me by pain. I remembered his easy smile and
graceful bearing, his eyes lighting everything around him. I
knew I had to hurry, because I couldn't bear his pain.
But the magic chains wouldn't give way; it was impossible to
break them or to tear them out. I saw despair in Maedhros's face.
"Please, kill me, Fingon, I can't stand it anymore!"
he cried. But I knew I couldn't. Not now, face to face with him,
when he filled all my senses, drew me with his heat and called
me with his pain. I don't know whether I could kill him from
afar, and now, thanks to Manwe, I will never know, but now I
couldn't even think about it. So I did the only thing I could do
- I took my dagger and cut off his hand just above the wrist.
I don't know if he felt the pain; I was too tired to think
about it. I just caught him in my arms and let Torondor carry us
away. I know that when we're back at Mithrim, there will be
problems to solve and things to discuss. There's still Morgoth;
we won't have any rest till this struggle is resolved one way or
another. I remember the oath of Feanor that Maedhros also gave,
as I remember everything about him. But there will be time for
it. I know I can face the future now, holding Maedhros close to
me, chained to him by an invisible chain of love.
End
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