Smeagol's Song

by Princess Jennalea

Author's Website: http://communities.msn.com/TheBogeymansCloset
Category: Incest, Fetish/Kink, Point of View, Drama, Angst
Characters: Frodo Sam Gollum
Warnings: Incest, BDSM, Character Death, No Happy Ending, Hurt/No Comfort, Graphic Sex, Violent Sex, Kinky/Squicky Pairings
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Gollum's life flashes before his eyes as he completes Frod's quest for him.
Disclaimer: once again I reiterate that these aren't my characters. I have as much originality as Frodo has in his missing finger. Don't Sue!
Feedback: yes! voodoodoll4711@hotmail.com or join my community (url above) to contact me.
Story Notes: i accidentally posted half a story. this should be the whole thing!! sorry about that

It was maddening. I couldn't see it, but I could smell it. I could smell it's nasty hobbit scent. I could smell the Precious. On it. Around it. Overpowering it. Yet empowering it. I wanted it. I hated it. I jumped it tracking by scent alone. We wrestled and thrashed. I clawed it. I felt it's face. It's shoulder. It's arm. Finally it's grubby thieving hand. I held it's hand then. Almost like a lover. Almost like Deagol. Deagol. Hadn't thought about him in years. Grr. Splaying the fingers with my own. Counting off. Thumb. Pointer. Middle. Fourth finger. Riiiiing Finger. My Finger. I bit hard and spat my prize into my hand. My one. My only. My Precious. My birthday present. Throwing the severed finger carelessly over my shoulder. Hitting it in the forehead for all I knew. Then twirling, dancing with my Golden Love. Dancing, laughing, mocking! Delirious with ecstasy. The hot volcanic rock under my aching dancing feet. And then nothing. Just nothing. And cruelest of all...Crueler than elf rope I could feel My Long Sought Precious slipping between my finger. Falling. Falling. Falling....

"....Falling in love with you, Cousin." The Volcano gone. Only plush riverbank, a yellow face that did not yet burn. That and my first Precious: Deagol. Dark haired gap-toothed sweet eyed Deagol.

"What's that you say, My Love?" I asked this haunting vision.

"I think I'm falling in love with you, Smeagol. " He blushed under his freckles. Then he kissed me quick and darted back with his hands raised defensively. I took them gently in my hands I kissed him back. We held each other tight. Kissing on the riverbank. Toes squiggling in the mud. Breaking away only when we hear grandmother screeching for us. Always screeching. I would think of her years later, entering the Misty Mountains and hearing Orcssess for the firssst time.

We slept in the same bed that night. And every opportunity after that. Fishing all day and swapping stories. We'd lie on the boat holding hands waiting for a bite. His thumb would trace the webbing between my thumb and forefinger. Sometimes he'd raise it to his lips and suck it like an orange.

One night he had snuck into my room. I was in him. Taking him hard and fast. It was bliss but he was moaning far too loud. I was afraid he'd wake Grandmother. Putting a sweaty trembling hand over his mouth only encouraged him to squeal louder. So I wrapped my long fingers around his delicate throat. And I squeeeeeeezed. Hard. His eyes bulged in terror but he did the most amazing unexpected thing. His blue lips mouthed my name breathlessly, soundlessly. My real name: Smeagol. Before all that "Gollum" bullshit. And then he came unassisted in long jagged bursts against my stomach. After that things grew rougher. Choking progressed to spanking. Spanking evolved into biting. But I loved him. I remember now, but I forgot about him for years. I loved everything about him. I loved the trust and adoration in those big black eyes while my palm all but crushed his esophagus. Those eyes would haunt me.

I remembered my birthday. A day I had thought was banished from my mind forever. Clutching my new precious to my chest. Rubbing it almost like a lover. Almost like...Deagol. But he was dead now. He lay on the boat not breathing. And those black eyes had shown me love, defiance, fear, desperation, hatred. But then the vessels burst and I dropped his gaze.

I buried him in the woods and returned home. But within weeks I had no home. I was cursed and exiled. My Deagol was gone. My family hated me. Even the Sun above was a foe. Nasssty ssssneaking Yellow Face. It had ssseeen what we did to our cousin, it did. (gollum) The White Face wasss no better. All we had wasss our Precious for company.

And Fissshes. A little Isssland. A boat. And Orc meat. And when we wasss choking a nasssty shrieking orc, we wasss choking our nasssty screeching Grandmother.

And our memory at first. Sometimes I dreamt about him, that betrayal in his eyes. I started to talk to my prize. Telling myself it was my birthday present over and over again until I believed it. In the dark womb of my cave I forgot Smeagol completely. I was Gollum now. I forgot my other life absolutely. So 500 years later I gazed upon another hobbit for the first time with new eyes.

"What isss it, my precious?" and simply wondered if it were edible.

The thief sstole my precious. My only company. My crutch, my drug. Ssso we tracked it until we were caught. Poor little Gollum. We sssurvived Mordor. We sssurvived being held by thossse nasssty cruel elfses with their fierce eyess trapping usss in Mirkwood. Climbing a tall tree and waiting all day with aching muscles breathing in the ssstink of the leavesss.

We found the Thief-Kin at lassst. And it had with it a nasty rude hobbit they made our palms itch. We followed them for too long. Always wanting to ssspring. But they sssprung firsst. That ssssycophantic Ssam hobbit wasss all over usss like catsss on poor mices. And then I wass caught. Smeagol Stoor bullied out of my psyche and made to be a combination guide/lap dog. And when Smeagol was unburied my feelings and memories would flood back. They'd fall asleep together and I'd slink off. To hunt. Yess, and sometimes to weep.

        The Thief-kin, Frodo wass conflicting me. I hated him, and yet... He sspoke kindly to me. He removed that horrid burning rope. And he was dark haired like....Deagol. But he thought he wass so superior, ssso righteous . I wasn't blind. I could ssee the touchesss they thought sssecret. I hated them both. For having my precious. For having each other when I had nothing. When I got my precious back I'd show him. I'd show everybody. I could almossst  see it.

        "Perhaps we grows very strong, stronger than Wraiths. Lord Smeagol? Gollum the Great? The Gollum? Eat fish everyday , three times a day, fresh from the sea. Most Precious Gollum!" *

        Ssam wass always cruel to me. When he took the rabbitss I caught and ruined them in fire I reached my breaking point and deserted them. I found Fish! Fish at last. But then the Master found me and coaxed me into a trap. I would never forgive him. Ever. Ssso I went to Her. And I groveled and capered for Her like I groveled and capered for the Thief-Kin. And then demoralized and p'raps even a touch mournful I slinked back to my party.

        And they were beautiful. Frodo lay asleep in Sam's lap with Sam's hand protectively on his forehead. And they looked peaceful and frightened and in love. All at once I almost drowned in my emotions. I was sorry. For a moment I even thought "fuck the ring. If it wasn't for it I'd be off somewhere holding Deagol like that". I regretted things that I had gloated over mere hours ago. I'd go back and tell Shelob I didn't have meat for her after all. No! Even better, I wouldn't return at all. I'd go back to my cave or farther. Maybe I'd find my riverbank- our riverbank. And I'd go into the woods where I buried my cousin and I'd lie on his grave and finally die. All this was in my mind as I approached. I reached out and gently stroked Frodo's knee. P'raps the touch was an apology. P'raps it was goodbye. P'raps it was because he was beautiful and withering under Our burden. I don't remember. At that moment he stirred in his sleep and woke up his jealous guard dog.

        "Hey you!" Sam said roughly. "What are you up to?"

        "Nothing, nothing" I answered softly. "Nice Master!"

        "I daresay ," said Sam. "But where have you been off to- sneaking off and sneaking back, you old villian?"

Sneak? SNEAK? How dare it! All good intentions forgotten. Smeagol was gone. Buried underneath an angry seething Gollum. We wanted our Precious....NOW. And we wanted Sam meat fresh off the bone. We promised to be very very good to the Master. We swore on the Precious. But Sam was not the master. We could eat him and still be sweet as fissh. And as for the thief...She would deal with him. {gollum}

But our plan didn't work. We wasted time gloated and Sam got the better of usss. No choice but to retreat for now. When the Orcses took them we almost fainted, but we didn't give up hope. We went to Mount Doom and waited. And waited. And waited. There was nothing to eat. Nothing to sustain us but our burning obsession. Finally we had our chance to make a play for revenge. But we wasss weak. Sso weak. The nasssty thief-kin ran for the Crack of Doom while we were left to Sam's tender mercies. He advanced on us, Elf Sword drawn. We backed up from it until we were flat against the ground looking into It's eyes. We saw hatred, anger, contempt but behind that the tiniest flash of pity.

"Don't kill us. Don't hurt us. Let us live jussst a little longer. Liiiiive. {gollum.} {gollum} Lossst. LOSSST! We are losst and when Preciouss goess we'll die. Yesss. Die into the dusssst"

So It let uss go. Ran off to find it's Crush and didn't even give uss a second glance. Didn't see uss double back to the backdoor .

We could smell brimstone and lava from the volcano, and two separate hobbit scents though we could only see one. We ssprang. And we fought with the deceitful master that had uss so conflicted. We almost didn't want to kill him. Maybe if he'd just hold still so we could find the correct digit to bite we'd keep it as a pet. Make it caper and simper. Keep it on a leash. Punish it for treated uss sub-hobbit. Punish it for having eyes for Sam alone. Punish it for making us Fall in l............

Falling ever falling. When the ring slipped between my fingers I gave up flailing. It was over. I fainted from the heat before I even got close to the inferno and knew no more.

        "Gollum looked at them and a strange expression passed over his lean hungry face. The gleam faded from his eyes and they went dim and grey, old and tired. A spasm of pain seemed to twist him, and he turned away, peering back up towards the pass, shaking his head as if engaged in some interior debate, Then he came back, and slowly putting out a trembling hand, very cautiously he touched Frodo's knee- but the touch was almost a caress. For a fleeting moment, could one of the sleepers have seen him, they would have thought they beheld an old weary hobbit, shrunken by the years page699

                                                                                   THE END

Dedicated to the least appreciated character in the saga Smeagol Stoor a.k.a Gollum.

**taken from the actual text of "Two Towers"